Posted on by Nova-Ki

An Ode to be Content: Journal Entry #14

In addition to a lot of really cool ideas, I’ve become very real and really content. I’m so content that, in fact, I’m going to stay this cool forever and start to sing to myself. I’m going to lack any pretense in the face of adversity. I’m going to own my own university. I won’t stop until the kids think it’s cool. If you don’t make it band, maybe you just need to focus on school.

I’m not going to complain to no end, never – never again. Because that’s not how this works, I’m going to let myself grow some bad ass new wings. I’m going to learn to talk, read, and write as I think, but in Greek, and with some tacky new features. Further down the line, I’m going to enroll back into a college to systemically school every dumb teacher – that’s how content I am with myself and keeping it chill.

I be so cool that I’ll just whip it out – till the day I break new ground, I’m content enough to edit my sentences mid-sentence. It de facto feels fine living with the trivial things I desire; I feel a connectedness to more of the same deepdish party pizza. I’m interested in maybe some more Dr. Pepper, the Strawberry kind, but not diet.

This was a journal entry where I simply spent some time writing about how I’m content. I am right now and trying to be each day. I feel like I must become the same in contentment forever because it’s cool to be in this form of something I feel is a natural and normal rhythm.

I’m content in the way of disbelief, in the face of considerable flux throughout my psyche, in the name of each person who ignored me, I’m still content with the way I’m to exist. I’m content the way I have it now made and okay with the way it has to persist.

If I was even a bit any more content, I’d be deeply unsettled. If I didn’t say these words to you, then there’d be no riddle.

Posted on by Nova-Ki

“Three Vows for 2024” – Journal Entry #13

I vow that, from now on, I shall take into consideration how much it matters – because it matters to me. I don’t need to spend my time so unhappy due to what it all seems to be; I should live, maybe forever, for the inverse: that I need to spend my time happy due to what it doesn’t seem to be. That this isn’t actually the end. This is probably a new beginning, not an ending (although it seems). It is a new year, and unlike the last.

Further, I vow to help by demonstrating what that means – because it is in my nature. I hope that this writing helps you today and doesn’t take time to circle back. That is to say, I usually do try and help – it is really all I try not to quit, helping those I care about, and at least agnolaging those that are hard to. It doesn’t seem fair to change when it can only often be an option to change. I know it isn’t fair to you to change on yourself – that’s what it is: I’ll always be who I’m supposed to be, avoiding becoming who I’m not meant to become.

I vow that life is usually getting better but never getting worse – because I’ve lived through a lot of dedicated effort to get through it, and nothing is going to change that. Nothing can take back effort already put in or lessons learned – that’s learning to the human psyche, when nothing can really override what’s become of us since, either. The psyche is what doesn’t leave when you fall asleep at night but has tendencies of becoming a face to a philosophy attached to every part of your dream. It’s the voice there in your body when you wake. It’s the love behind the identity that says you’re in love with her, whoever she is today.

Yes. I believe life is now okay.

– J

Posted on by Nova-Ki

Journal Entry # 12

The Only Answer

I’m alive to see the answer.

I knew it held the right solution, dear.

I was but your eager friend,

not to ever be afraid of fear.

I’m alive with you on the planet Earth,

with more ideas to give away, but

What created me isn’t clear.

I knew the process was a pain.

I knew the concept was sincere.

I held on to the reason,

The uniqueness, too.

I knew, against all odds,

It was true.

I believed that in your mind was the key,

Also that it comes at a cost to me.

A sacrifice is one of any beneficial loss.

So tell me, love,

Is it the only answer we know?

Is it the only answer we need?

Is it the only answer?

I guess it must be.

Posted on by Nova-Ki

Journal Entry #6

The one thing I didn’t make time for today is now complete – I ate a sizable meal at home with my family.

Now, to discuss the gravitas of today…

Oh, my God, do I love everything about how this project is playing out. As mentioned, I had a studying day. The theory I drew up is GOLD. I’m on my way towards making a design of physical devices. The prototyping will happen on Friday. Tomorrow, I’m finishing up the software prototyping I started like 3 weeks ago.

There is so much to do, so much to do.

Thank you,

Jasmin

Posted on by Nova-Ki

Journal Entry #3

The only thing I’m ready to go back on, now that it’s come to it, is my caffine intake. But that’s only true temporarily. There’s a world calling for me tonight, and I’m staying up till midnight. I know the world is changing, and so am I.

The knowledge you gain makes you settle down – I love how, each day, I’m less and less worried about all that’s had me in a rut. The way I see it, my day-to-day, the only way I’ll get better, more stable progressions is to not waste time; so long as I have the right number of moves (steps taken) in by sundown (without having been distracted), I feel the effects of contentment sink in.

I’m having nostolgia for my days held to the motions of flipping pages under a dim reading lamp decidedly the only ones that felt right in one of the college study rooms. There I was, at Nineteen, seated at a darkly lit desk, making sense of any one of the equations of change that the greatest mathematical minds of history passed down from generation to generation. I found my heart, beating and beating to the same rhythm night after night.

Posted on by Nova-Ki

Journal Entry #2

Firstly, I can safely report that everything is still going well. My work is generating a lot of enjoyment; each day, I am learning more and more in the way of technique when it comes to programming. Further, I can not complain and enjoy how each day develops and has less and less wanting (on my part) associated with it.

Mondays seem like a good day to stock the fridge each week, giving me a day to relax, watch educational tv, and write a few lines of code; Tuesdays, I can get out the drawing board and write a theory, focus on mathematical philosophy, logic, greek, and liguistics, and then maybe turn to writing some fiction; Wedensdays are a middle of road type of deal, I like the idea of integrating some light engineering recap, practing music theory, and writing and recording a song (avoiding this option till the last XLR cord is purchased); Thursday is known for mathematics in my book, but I’ll also peper in some physics, and I’ll do some computer science practice, making numerical type coding assignments for myself. All this delay in actually doing direct work on the project just fuels my ego. Fridays are for fun hobbie projects, doing one at a time. Saturdays are for seeing my friends, planning, and drafting plans on the main project. Sundays are going to be used wisely, making a grocery list, watching a movie, and writing about the week.

Posted on by Nova-Ki

Journal Entry #1

I’m writing this to give myself an ‘outlet,’ which is a term I find takes its first breath as one of nuance only to hear it as a recurrent utterence (typically a teachable moment) in each first year composition class – made for my personal anchor, now meshed in long-term memory.

We both probably know I haven’t given this blogging thing the most serious handshake. I do find the nostolgia and skillful attempts at self expression one might attribute the phrase “a great start to life” on this blog. Just know that I both care about and have a passive attachment to the developed relationship I’ve developed on this website – as this is the case for a majority of the things in life: that I both am happy with it (my choices) and would seek out more, at the right time (more experiences).

My work right now goes in many directions. It’s so exciting! I can barely contain myself. I am having really amazing days, and by the end of the week, it is not as bad as before to do it all again (whatever that might mean, lol).